Self-esteem: A work in progress.

I had a thought-provoking experience today.

I met our representative for the Miss World pageant at the airport today. She was leaving for Beijing and I was dropping off some product she had ordered. I spotted her immediately - tall (the 4-inch platforms certainly contributed), lean, gorgeous, pale, with hair and legs for days. I was really struck by her beauty, and felt proud to know that we'd definitely be able to hold our own in the looks department of that competition.

Then it hit me - I was shocked! It had been so long since I had compared myself to another that at first I didn't realise what was happening. As I walked back to the car I felt short, dumpy, and unattractive. I thought my hair looked extra frizzy (my bad hair day wasn't helping the situation either) and I admit that I spent a moment or two wondering why I missed out on receiving the kind of genetic lottery jackpout payout that our beauty queen enjoyed.



Although the feeling had mostly passed by the time I got home, I felt distressed that I seemingly could not appreciate another woman's beauty without allowing it to serve as a referendum on my own. I realised that I created a false dichotomy in my mind; that if she was beautiful, I was not. I think that many women (men too?) fall into this trap, when the simple reality is that there's no either-or. Both she and I are beautiful - we represent different standards of beauty.

When we are constantly saturated with messages from all channels about what kind of beauty is acceptable (these days the standard is tall, slim, pale, and longhaired), those of us who don't meet this particular benchmark might have a hard time remembering that it is arbitrary and inherently nonsensical. Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colours. Who wouldn't agree that Janet Jackson, Queen Latifah, and Halle Berry are all gorgeous women?

I am beautiful, despite not looking like a pageant queen. My hope is that I can remember this always, and be able to leave a similar future encounter feeling absolutely great.